BY: ALLISON YVONNE (www.allthingssexy.org)
Ladies, we all have had an apple of our eye, a captivator of our affection, and been guilty of admiring a sexy stranger from afar, who may or may not, see our attempted affections. These “crushes” so to speak, are always a game of cat and mouse, regardless of how much our admirer feels the same. We can however, try to avoid the red flags that can make an amusing episode of Tom and Jerry turn into a Saturday night Netflix binge marathon. To put it simply – if your crush isn’t into it, you shouldn’t be either. Here are 11 things that are a definite sign you should hit the road if spoken by your crush:
1. “Since we are going ‘there’, I should just let you know, I am not the most endowed…”
First off, the fact that this is being said before anything “happens”, probably referring to “going there” sexually, why would size be mentioned just seconds before? Or even minutes, even days before – in a creepy, planned-out fashion? (Yes guys, this actually happens often!) That is such a mood killer for a woman. A little bit of mystery in the bedroom is always good. And frankly, needing to establish security in your manhood before being intimate shows insecurity. Let bedroom romance blossom on its own! This goes for the opposite with the overinflated egos as well – unless you plan on pulling out a 12+ incher or it has two heads – leave some mystery, fellas.
2. “Not that I don’t think you are beautiful, but I think you should lose some weight, babe.”
Oh boy. This is a red flag for crushes, boyfriends, and even husbands. Partners should support each other and healthy living choices, but expressing critical thoughts in this manner is a serious no no. Let alone, someone who you are not officially dating! If they think that you are not good enough to date them, tell them take a good, hard look in the mirror. It is they who need the makeover and lose some baggage – lose the ego.
3. “Is your friend single?”
This might actually be one of the worst things your crush can tell you. Not only because it is a total letdown to know the apple of your eye was looking just one square foot to the right each time you went out with those loving, googley eyes of his, but also it happens to be your good friend! How do you tell her?! Especially if you and her had numerous texted screenshots and memes about your crush on this person! Oh, the embarrassment, the letdown… Damn you, Gina.
4. “What was your name again?”
Ummm, “what?!” You can think this in your head, but in reality you probably still blurt out your name with a cute giggle and smile. However, it’s truly a let-down when the man of your dreams doesn’t even know your name.
5. “I’m looking to move. I can’t wait to get out of this town!”
Okay, WTF? Ladies, try to avoid 20 questions on this one. Deep breath, in, out, in, out. Okay, good? Good. A guy who has a serious case of wanderlust is definitely not in the books for good crush material. If he does not see any good reason to stay in town – job, family, YOU? – then he probably doesn’t feel the same way about you. Not to mention, he’s actually TELLING you he wants to move, and not including a possibility of you in his plans.
6. “Send me a sexier picture.”
Here we go. Haven’t we all heard this line before? The infamous “selfie boys” who hop from dating app to dating app, praying on innocent (and some not so innocent) women with their charming demeanor waiting just for the right moment to ask for another picture – a “sexier” picture. Oh, a nude? Sure, why not? Since I just have a stash of my web cam photos that I like to send out to all my crushes for free ☺ Actually, how about NEVER!
7. “I’d love to take you out, but don’t really have the money this week.”
Either the dude is broke, doesn’t care enough to ask you out, or a latter of the two. Bottom line is, if a guy wants you, he will make it happen. Whether it be a sunset stroll through the park or planning for $5 movie night, a proper date will happen if it’s meant to.
8. “My ex-girlfriend is such a bitch!”
Woah, there buddy. A bitch? And why are you talking about your ex to me? Three huge red flags in a crush here – a guy who is not fully over his ex may still bring her up. The fact that he is speaking of someone he once cared about in such a negative manner may also display unresolved issues in the prior relationship as well as his poor character in dealing with those issues.
9. “I should introduce you to (one of his buddies’ names)!”
Nooo! Why?! Are you so blind to realize that you are my crush?! It’s hard to stray away from this comment other than immediate, crafty conversation diversion, possibly dissing his friend, or just walking away for the time being. The comment must be dead and forgotten before any crushing can resume.
10. “Bring a friend for my buddy.”
Really? I never understood how this worked past the age of 16. If your crush not only is asking you to find his friend (who we still don’t know why can’t bring his own girl to attend this event – what does he even look like?) a girl to hook up with for the night – and you KNOW that’s why they ask this – then he probably just sees you as a hookup too.
11. Not jack!
Silence is golden – BUT NOT IN THE WORLD OF LOVE. Word vomit is just as dangerous as saying nothing, but the absolute worst thing you can do is to never tell someone how you feel. Your crush will only remain your crush and never progress to a date, boyfriend, or even someday husband if you don’t tell him that you are into him! Just make sure he is quality and didn’t utter #1-10 before you spill the beans though!
Crush on, and stay sexy inside and outside my friends! <3
*Allison Yvonne: Born and raised in Southern California, Allison works in Marketing, Media, Entertainment, and Design. She has spent her lifetime traveling and indulges in a hedonistic lifestyle whenever given the opportunity. With her training through college in Psychology, certification in Event Design and Management, and extensive background in Acting/Modeling/MUA she is providing a network for positive living, dating advice, hot travel locations, as well as her custom-designed home decor to shop.
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